So the hunt for an appropriate place for me to get an education begins. Back in 1988 there weren't a ton of options...there was a school near our town for 'special' kids. I had to face up to the fact that I was now a 'special' child with 'special' needs, being forced to leave my friends and school did not make me feel 'special'! We decided to go on a day visit to see what the school was like. I remember it being better than what I had expected, for some reason I had the picture of the orphanage from the film 'Annie' in my mind! It was really lovely, they had awesome computer rooms, craft rooms, the property was beautiful. The teachers we met were very kind. I remember so clearly being wheeled into one of the computer rooms and to my horror seeing a boy about my age whose arms were terribly spastic. He had a stick thingy strapped to his head and was head butting the keyboard! At 10 years old I didn't understand and wanted to laugh.....until I realized it was because he couldn't use his hands and remembered that I couldn't use my hand properly yet either. I looked at my Mom (with horror evident on my face) and asked if I would have to do that, she said "no we're gonna exercise your hands and you'll be able to write soon". Even though the school was lovely I just couldn't get my head around the fact that all the kids and all my new friends would be disabled, it just didn't feel right! I never felt like I would fit in, I had only been disabled for 4 months and deep down I didn't see myself as disabled. Seeing the other students my age disabled, some really badly, made me feel awful. Man, I was so young and just couldn't get my head around the fact that this was 'me'. I was the same as 'those' kids that looked so different and had to be sent somewhere else so the normal kids didn't have to be friends with them!
It was just kind of decided that that was where I would go to school, there was one problem though, my parents hadn't told me. The school was not only for physically disabled kids but mentally disabled kids too, which meant the level of education was very low! We were out of options, there was a boarding school in Johannesburg but my mother was very anti boarding facility (convinced I'd be abused) and it was too far to drive daily.
Then enters Mr Holland! Mr Holland was very good family friend (placed by God) and just happened to be the principal of my former primary school (Selcourt Primary). Well Mr Holland called my parents and he was concerned about the level of education at the other school, and thought it was a good for idea for us to try sending me back to Selcourt Primary. What? Was I hearing my parents correctly, I was going back to school, to my friends, where my sister was, to all things 'normal'. Hurray! Nothing was certain. We'd just try. I knew it would work!
Going back was so easy I wasn't nervous, the teachers were great. I had an amazing man as my teacher Mr Barton! He looked after me so well - now there's someone I need to try find and thank! You'd think I would have been worried about being teased but I don't remember anyone being anything but kind. My friends picked up where we left off, (I stand corrected but I think we had some chats about disability in class!) everyone of my class mates just wanted to help me. Thank goodness I wasn't 'special' anymore!
Thinking back to this time really has been interesting, you know I wouldn't be the person I am, if I hadn't been given the opportunity to go back to 'normal' school. I still don't see myself as disabled (which is why I don't do long length mirrors) and don't act disabled 'cause basically I think I'm still in denial. Yay for denial!!!
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