A Life less Ordinary

Life slowed down somewhat as we settled in to it. It was good for my family; my siblings had been neglected a bit with me getting loads of attention.

We started discovering that having a disability had its advantages. My brothers went to the army (it was still compulsory for men to do 2 years of army training after school), I was used as an excuse to get my brother out of an awful camp where he was treated badly, and to a camp near home(for the not so bright) where he could do admin. We also discovered, to my delight, that I got into movies for free! There was a catch though, the cinema was on the second floor and there were no lifts, only escalators (bunch of jerks!). We made a plan, I was carried up the escalators and the wheelchair dragged up! We also found a very dodgy goods lift at the back of the mall, this was scary but so worth it! Well I soon started paying for tickets and then I get to sit where I wanted. If we didn't get to the cinema early I'd be parked at the back next to a snogging couple and my friends would be down somewhere else...not good! I remember going to see an American soap star from a show called ‘Loving’, who had come to South Africa. He smiled at me and said “hello”! Wow being disabled was the best.

I did get some special treatment at school. I often got out of doing homework when we had to be in Johannesburg for tests and Dr. Appointments; we’d get home late and exhausted. I did not get out of physiotherapy (with an amazingly sweet lady), who became the thorn in my side. I started calling her my physio-terrorist! Shame this was my bad attitude, I misinterpreted her persistence to my recovery as her trying to purposely frustrate me. Oh man that exercise ball! I never want see one of those again! Balancing precariously trying with all my might to kneel with only a rolling ball giving stability. She would then bump me, it frustrated me, and I just couldn’t cope! I eventually as a young teenager convinced my parents to let me stop physio, I think I simply wore them down. They realized that I had to want it for myself.

By that stage I was no longer walking with the walker and had upgraded to a crutch. My balance had improved and I could even take a few steps unaided, life was good. I felt in control and had figured out how to make life work for me. My right arm was still mostly paralyzed and so my mouth become another arm, I carried things in mouth, opened things (resulting in a few chipped teeth), and could even carry a full bag of groceries in my mouth. It really is amazing how one can adapt when required to. I had slipped in to a comfort zone, and found no need to exercise. It is funny though I remember before the paralysis, lying on grass one day pretending that I couldn’t move and thinking if I couldn’t move my body, I’d just concentrate really hard and force my muscles to move. Guess it just wasn’t that easy.


A change inside my heart

I had a really good family friend called Rory, I loved hanging out with him, he treated me as if nothing had happened. One Friday night he invited me to his youth group, I had been to going to church as a child but I never really understood what it was all about. Due to the fact that I now had no social life, Friday nights were free, so I was excited to be getting out. Little did I know how important this evening out would be. We had a great time. I don’t think I was actually old enough to be going to the youth group. There was a live band singing Jesus songs, but it was fast and beaty - not how I imagined church music. The youth leader had a fun message and I remember some kids doing a skit that made us laugh. The leader than started asking if anyone wanted to make a commitment to God, and explained about Jesus dying on the cross, something I knew about but never thought about. I remember wanting to put my hand up but feeling so shy, my family weren’t nutty church people, and I certainly didn’t want to become one! Rory said he’d go up with me so up we went, me walking slowly holding up everyone behind me who was eager to get to the front. When I got to the front the lights were bright and I felt all eyes on me, but Rory was with me telling this was good. The leader prayed for us and I was given a booklet to read. I didn’t think a whole lot had changed, I mean I was a really good person, I liked being kind and I hated being in trouble. But it was like a little bubble of joy burst in my heart, just a little one. I wouldn’t realize until later in life how important that decision was, it was what would guide me in making good decisions regarding drinking and boys and working hard to help others. But most of all I didn’t know how lonely I would be as a teenager, or how devastated I would be watching my mother die, and that this commitment to God would maintain that growing bubble of joy.